i accidentally erased my ipod library yesterday afternoon! this is a small tragedy for me; i spent over a week in august downloading music and arranging playlists from early morning to well past sundown, getting ready for my big move, which meant saying goodbye to all my cd's that wouldn't make it through airport customs. that library was a real blessing to me during the first three months transitioning into my new life--having my best-loved songs with me at the touch of a button when i was feeling lonely or stuck or just plain nostalgic was nothing less than healing. my ipod was an oasis. it's played its heart out from here to amarillo and back again in the jetta, and has accompanied me on a number of beautiful evenings in the good company of my wonderful husband.
that library is still on my parents' computer in amarillo, but two long months before i'm there again are stretching out into the future. and besides, i think it's time for me to start over, so the phoenix of my ipod can rise from its pile of virtual ashes. it will be different this time, but i'm also different this time around, too. so i'll build it back up again, slowly but surely. and the trusty jetta brought back my cd's, squished to the floorboards but safe and sound, so the situation isn't really that bad.
this predicament is nothing in the scheme of things, but it's still representative of what people have to do all over the world, all the time. i am often humbled when i see or hear or read about people in chiapas, whose fragile homes are swept away almost yearly by hurricane floods. or families in iraq that begin restructuring a family without sons and moms and beloved uncles. i just saw a movie about a palestinian family whose house is commandeered by the israeli army. the father of the house says to one of his sons that no matter how many times the soldiers tear down their greenhouse, they'll build it back up again. people simply start over again. it's amazing to me.
i suppose it's an inherent need in most of us to rise from the ashes of disappointment or devastation, but it's astonishing, nonetheless. when i try imagining myself in the same circumstances as those who have it really, really tough, i see myself whimping out. but who knows? humans seem to have an inner dynamo that kicks in when the worst happens. be it due to faith or genetics or both, people are all faced with the obligation to be a phoenix. and so many, against incredible odds, succeed.
i would like to be optimistic and firmly believe that we can also rise above the ecological mess we continue to create on this planet. it's the ultimate phoenix test, i guess.
in the meantime, i'll keep listening to music.