front-running politicians here are engaged in playground rounds of insult slinging. it reminds me of the way things were in those adolescent days of desperation, how some would orchestrate tactical maneuvers to come out on top of the social scene. it often involved direct attacks against another's character, but could also entail affronts of association; who someone hung out with could be held against them if necessary. it was, of course, ridiculous. it still is. presidential election campaigning is the new adolescence.
i enjoyed being a teenager, though, in spite of its obligatory complications. as someone learning how to navigate the world, which will probably always be something of a social scene, i discovered makeup. and i began to learn how much fun experimental vanity could sometimes be. phases surged and waned, bringing in novelties like orangey foundation lines, three-toned eyeshadow techniques, and blush brush stroke variations--then taking them out, along with mustache bleach and eyelash curlers. still undecided about eyeshadow and still battling the stache, i did manage to decide that lashes were best left straight. the vanity inquisition ruled that the curler follow in the foundation's footsteps. only the mascara remains.
however, eyelash curling is only out of style in my personal cosmetic regime, i mean regimen. i've seen it happening everywhere, from the microbus to the brunch table. and it doesn't involve that little revlon device that looks more like a tool of the inquisition, rather than its victim. the process involves, simply, a spoon.
patricio, in his thick, straight-lashed glory, assumed that the entire curly-lashed world owed its existence to spoons. he took the process for granted. neither could he inform me on its ins and outs. fortunately, last october's issue of chilango magazine did the trick. i'll exercise my loose internet rights to translate. please right me letters if i get send to copyright violation jail.
*what type of spoon is best? not any old spoon will work. look for one made of really thin metal, almost sharp around the edges. once you begin using the spoon to curl your lashes, it should only be used for that purpose, since the more eyelash grease that accumulates, the better the results will be. if the spoon is new (read: ungreasy), you can rub the edges with a few drops of oil. almond oil is ideal, but since you almost certainly don't have any, cooking oil works just as well.
*learn the "little spoon" technique: 1. with the spoon facing down (as if it were cupping your eyelid), hold the edge against your eyelid, where the eyelashes begin. 2. with your index finger, rub the lashes up along the edge of the spoon. you'll begin to see them separate and curl up a little, resulting in lovely, abundant lashes. 3. if you pull the lashes outward or upward with both your finger and the spoon, not only do you run the risk of not curling your lashes, but also finding yourself without any lashes. period.
*primp while you drive. the art of spoon curling may very well be exclusive to this part of the world; learn it here: *always carry your spoon within reach in your car. *learn to drive with one hand. *shift gears and start curling those lashes. *remember to keep your driving hand and your un-curled eye on the wheel and on the road, respectively. *when traffic comes to a standstill, check out your work in the rear-view mirror. *with practice, you'll be able to switch gears and pass any car, including microbuses, at the same time. *if a traffic cop pulls you over, flash your best smile and wink with your curly-lashed eye for the best possible effect. madly in love, he'll let you go.
since getting pulled over for anything other than missing an emissions-test-permission-to-drive sticker happens as often as a glimpse of popocatépetl through the smog, i still don't find much incentive to begin curling my lashes again. i love watching women do it, though. it's nice to know that harmless vestiges of our adolescence also form a part of our everyday lives. now, if those politicians could only learn how to swing it. either the eyelashes curling part or the harmless part--it would be a good, interesting start.